Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
