Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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