You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
