Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
