Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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