Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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