He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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