just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
