I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
