i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
