Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
