I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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