Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
barbara walters just said penis...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
