your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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