i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
