ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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