you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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