a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
