my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
