I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
