Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
