U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
