She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
