he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
