Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
