I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Damn victory sex feels great
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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