I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
