i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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