I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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