I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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