I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
