this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
