i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
