I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just want nice things and good sex
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
