She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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