She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
