Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
