Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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