i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
