Whats the glycemic index on semen?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
