Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
time to smoke my breakfast
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
