Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
