I think my fart just growled at me.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
MIDGETS
????
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
