i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
