every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It was like getting head from an anaconda
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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