its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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