So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
