he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
