OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I want her autograph on my taint
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
