As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
