are you so shy because you have an std?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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