There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
